baru ku sedari

Hari ni baru mula balik ada rasa semangat nak continue tulis something

in this blog after sekian lama menyepikan diri. Baru teringat actually that

i do have a blog rather than DO i have a BLOG?? orang kata lepas lama x menulis and asyik mendiamkan diri, banyak perubahan dalam diri berjaya diobserve and might be boleh share sedikit sebanyak dengar orang yang sudi membaca. apa2 hal sekalipun tujuan tulis blog ni waktu2 pagi yang sepi and kedinginan angin malam ni dapat la menceritakan tentang2 anjakan paradigma yang da berlaku. so minta maaf kalau ada yang baca rasa macam what kind of bullshit is this or so on sebab mood pagi2 ni rasa macam nak bercerita. :) please bare with me for a while.

Kehidupan di UTP memang sangat2 dibencikan for me after ive stayed here for 3 months. its not like that im not grateful enough for being here. its just that sometimes the system makes u feel like u dont want to comply with it. Not the only reason of the poor management, ive been treating (i used it here as i because not everyone might feel the same as i do) like i dont pay a single cent for study-ing here eventhough that i actually do pay every semester just that i have to return the payment by working and bonded with petronas for a duration of 10 years!

But most of the management and lecturer might not realize about it and keep on saying u all got a scholer from petronas and u dont deserve to say anything. ure being sponsered! who care if i got a sponsorship or not and if they really realized about it, we are talking about money and we have the right on every single money that we pay! lets say worst scenario happens where im not employed by Petronas and i have to pay for the money since its not full scholarship (convertable loan). i still have to pay the money and that means im paying it on my own. but what do i get for paying things that doesnot satisfied me for the money that is spent. Most of UTPian doesnt care much about it. but for me, its a big matter.

second thing is that UTP is such a small campus and the faculty here is only limited to 8 faculties consist of civil, mechanical, electrical, chemical, petroleum, geoscience, Business and Information communication technology. so the number of student is not that much as other university have. if for other universities it is quite accepted for me if they are not managed well enough because of the population is huge. but in UTP, eventhough the population is small compare to other universities, still sadly to say the performance is not up to the standard. i thought that when we deal with smaller number of population it is better and easier to manage rather than have to deal with huge population. and guess what the assumption is totally wrong!

third thing is that the mindset of the people here that like to bother what others people do makes me tired and sick of it. seems busy body to know everysingle thing that we do in daily life. yes i know some people will say that they are being busybody because they concern about us but if im not mistaken now we are big enough to deal with everysingle aspect in this life. if they are too busy body about other people's business then why dont they care about theirselves in the first place. it is not wrong to do that if and only if that we have managed ourself well enough and every single weakness that we hold has been fixed first. then after that if they want to do it, with all due respect please continue with this attitude. No one's going to blame u for helping other people.

hargh! basically that is what i feel and i dont know what other people think about it. i dont quite care on what people thinks about me pon sebab for me sekarang everyone is big enough to think wisely and otak yang dikurniakan kepada setiap insan tu sama. kalau komputer dibina berasaskan otak manusia, kenapa kita x boleh gunakan kepakaran otak yang diberikan untuk berfikir sejenak yang mana elok dan mana tidak. Akal yang bezakan antara manusia dan haiwan. haiwan pun ada otak tapi x mampu berfikir. Manusia pula dikurniakan akal dan fikiran dalam membantu menaikkan ketamadunan dan memperbaiki kehidupan. kalau akal tidak digunakan dan kita tidak berfikir, apa yang membezakan kita dan haiwan?

p/s : kalau kita malas berfikir, lama2 nanti karat and sebab da karat, mula la kita bercakap bende2 yang sungguh membosankan dan x masuk akal. jadi GUNAKAN LAH OTAK KITA :)

MERDEKA! MERDEKA! MERDEKA!

hari ni. genaplah sudah 52 tahun kemerdekaan kita sambut.
setelah genap beberapa abad negara kita dijajahi oleh empayar british yang rakus
mengaut hasil keuntungan bumi malaysia yang kaya dengan pelbagai khazanah.
apa yang tinggal pada kita, hanyalah secebis laungan kemerdekaan yang acap kali
kita banggakan.
apakah maksud kemerdekaan itu sendiri pada setiap hati dan pengertian anak bangsa melayu,
india dan cina serta kaum2 minority yang lain. masing2 menginap di tanah air tercinta yang tergabung oleh 12 negeri di semenanjung dan 3 negeri di kepulauan borneo.
pembangun serta kemodenan yang dibina hanya tertumpu di bandar2 besar.
sedih mengatakan masih ada kawasan2 yang dimana taraf hidup masih samar2 tidak dimajukan dan kehidupan manusia yang buta huruf agak tidak berubah. kehidupan kebiasaan atawpun rigid masih memonopoli sebilangan besar anak2 petani dan felda disebabkan tidak ditekankan
nilai2 akademik yang amat penting dalam dunia yang mementingkan pelajaran masa kini.
kalau seorang graduan yang memiliki segulung ijazah sudah mempunyai persaingan yang hebat dalam mendapatkan tempat kerja bagi mendapatkan sesuap nasi dan menyara diri, inikan pula apatah lagi anak2 yang hanya mampu menamatkan persekolahan dan tidak mampu membiayai yuran pengajian yang amat tinggi. UITM memang tidak diakui oleh sesiapa pun bahawa itu adalah tempat untuk pengajian kebanyakan (majority) bangsa melayu. tapi taraf pendidikan yang didapati dari UITM sekarang agak susah jika mahu dibandingkan dengan institusi-institusi pengajian tinggi yang lain. mungkin kreadibility institusi UITM ramai yang memperagui kehebatan pelajar2 yang menamatkan pengajian disini. kaum melayu sudah patut untuk memikirkan tentang diri sendiri. harus patut untuk mula mengorak langkah dalam memperjuangkan ekonomi sendiri. kaum cina lama sudah mengorak langkah dalam menempatkan diri mereka menguasai ekonomi malaysia yang semakin pesat membangun. apa yang kita harapkan hanyalah taraf status bumiputra dan keistimewaan orang melayu yang kita ada demi mendapatkan perlindungan diri. kita hanya diajar untuk bertahan dan tidak untuk mahu kedepan. banyak iklan yang dipaparkan di tv masa kini ada mengandungi pengjaran yang kalau kita nilai, kita mampu untuk bergerak ke hadapan. kalau diikutkan, sebenarnya orang melayu mempunyai otak yang pintar dan bijak. jika tidak masakan petronas mampu untuk tersenarai antara top 20 most profitable company in the world for oil and gas? rata2 kebanyakan kaum melayu yang menjadikan impian itu suatu kenyataan di dalam company petronas itu.

dimana ada kemahuan, pasti akan ada jalan yang menyambungkan angan2 menjadi kenyataan.
akhirkata, adakah merdeka yang kita sambut ini yang kita laung-laungkan ini hanya tinggal menjadi kata2 ataw pon menyebabkan kita terus maju kehadapan.

HOLIDAYS IN SCHEDULE

today i'm back in my hometown.
got nothing to do.
just got back from playing futsal with school mates back in semashur.
meet up with aliff aminuddin who just got back from japan.
he's gonna spend his holidays in malaysia up till 4 april.
every body now is happy and enjoying their own life.
i am stuck even though now it is my mid semester break.
stuck with assignments and homework to be done.
gonna go to kuching this coming friday and be back in kl on sunday.
trip to kuching might be wonderful enough but thinking on the second thought,
i might miss the practice session with my band-mates in block b on that same sunday night
where the night i am gonna be on the airplane from kuching airport to klia.
haish....
what a terrible feeling i have right now.
somehow, i need to practice a lot of things!

• singing
• doing homeworks
• finished up assignments
• lab report that supposed to be submitted after mid semester break ended

miss the old days.
everything seems like it move on like a water in the river
slow yet constantly moving in the right direction to the sea.
but now, the water came to the part where the water needs to find its own way or path
to overcome the obstacle in front or in their path to get back in the right direction.
need a blazer but dont have money to buy it.
gotta find a new purple t-shirt but don't know where to find it.
need improvement for singing yet still not hitting it.
life to me seems dull and empty.
when u have seen much things, u will come to a point that u feel something in your life is not right.
u want to change it badly and not appreciate it the way it is.
but the time is constraint and u'll realize the more u try to change it, the more things
get in the way.
people always said "just folow the flow".
but we are the one that have to decide it which flow that we want to follow.
either to go with it or go against it.
each move that we choose will lead to its own consequences.
just prepared mentally and physically for it.
aaa..
what a gloomy night....
gotta go now. the engineering statistics book still lay in front of me.
untouched! gotta open it and study the tutorial.
aim for the highest thing in your life.
work like there will be no tomorrow for you.
enjoy the things that makes u happy like it is the last time u are doing it.
sleep like a baby when u still have time for it.
thinks like an adult when ure having a problem and needs to solve it.
dont think about the result because u know u have worked for it.
good night....

warms regards...